The Gentleman Saint
Today we celebrate the feast of that great Oratorian bishop and Doctor of the Church, St Francis de Sales. Last year we reflected on his own life as an Oratorian and the Oratory he founded at Thonon in Savoy. For anyone familiar with St Philip, the Oratorian influence upon the life and writings of St Francis de Sales is evident in abundance: the familiar style, the desire to be “all things to all men”, the practical encouragement to holiness for everyone — whatever their state in life — and above all the desire to bring others, gently but certainly, into a life of joyful striving for virtue.
This commonality of St Philip and St Francis was recognised by St John Henry Newman — a great devotee of St Francis. Still today in the Birmingham Oratory visitors are able to see in our Cardinal’s room the portrait of St Francis above his private altar. It was St Francis’ description of mystical theology from his Treatise on the Love of God ‘cor cordi loquitur’ ‘heart speaks to heart’ which Newman made his own in his slightly modified ‘cor ad cor loquitur’. Like St John Henry and St Philip, St Francis both preached and lived the essential of the Oratorian vocation — to speak to the heart. At a time when his own people were subjected to many and passionate attempts to draw them away from the Church, St Francis employed the familiar style of St Philip in his preaching and in his writing gently to persuade them to return to the truth, the truth he presented as ever attractive and reasonable. St Francis understood too the importance of friendship, and that for him, as for St Philip, everybody could become a friend and so be led in turn to the Friend of us all.
And St Francis was the friend of all who sought God — from royalty to the most despised and dejected — and he was at home with them all. Evelyn Underhill rather lampooned St Francis by summing up his teaching and style with the phrase “Yes, indeed, my dear Duchess, as Your Grace so truly observes, God is love”. But that misses the point. St Francis understood what Underhill did not — that style and sweetness are all combined to bring souls to know God in their own place and in words and language that actually mean something to them. It was his understanding of this that has earned St Francis the title of ‘The Gentleman Saint’. In The Idea of the University, Newman tells us what this means and gives us all, ladies and gentleman alike, something to which we must aspire and for which we must strive to become:
It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain. This description is both refined and, as far as it goes, accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him; and he concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself. His benefits may be considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in arrangements of a personal nature: like an easy chair or a good fire, which do their part in dispelling cold and fatigue, though nature provides both means of rest and animal heat without them. The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast; — all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make every one at their ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom he is speaking; he guards against unseasonable allusions, or topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent in conversation, and never wearisome. He makes light of favours while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and interprets every thing for the best. He is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out. From a long-sighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend. He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults, he is too well employed to remember injuries, and too indolent to bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to bereavement, because it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny. If he engages in controversy of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blunder.
It is the description not only of the person we would all aspire to be, but also of a person whose company we enjoy and search out — this is the key. We will have such a greater field for bringing souls to God if we allow ourselves to be the sort of person that others want to be with, the sort of person that lets people know that they do matter, and that God does too. That is the school of St Francis, as it was of St Philip and of St John Henry. Please God we will make it ours.